Phone Calls..

Sometimes phone calls  bring good news, and sometimes they bring bad news and sometimes they lead to tears or raised voices or hushed soft speaking..

I was dreading this call.. it needed to happen, I knew that.. its been coming.. but I still didn’t want to have it.. but I was the one that booked the call, I wanted to be told I was wrong, I wanted to be told that there was one more thing I could do.. one more trick yet..

I knew it was not likely but I had to at least try.. when the phone rang, it was my large animal vet, and the topic was my mare.. Brandy has a genetic disease in both front feet, this was a issue I had not dealt with and I will be honest, I thought, bla.. we can deal with it, I am home on the farm, I am willing to go the extra mile, I have a great vet, I have enough extra income, I am willing to put more funds monthly into treatments and I have a great ferrier and so forth..

All of it counts, of course it counts.. that’s why my big girl has been pasture puff (aka, not ridden other then as a lead line for smaller kids on flat ground at a slow walk) for over a year now.. Last winter was brutal!  I knew by late last winter that this was coming but I was still fighting it like a fish on a line.. flipping and flopping.. NO, no…Noooooooo!

Then spring and summer came and she loved the sun, the better weather, the dry summer was a blessing to her and I wanted that extra time.. fall arrived, the rains arrived and I knew, I knew that I needed have that phone call, that talk.. that conformation from my vet, that I what I knew in head and was still processing in heart has to happen..

We had the “talk” and we both agreed that its time..  My Girl was my 40th birthday present from my husband.. when she arrived home, I never dreamed that I Would need to have this call and that talk on my 44th year..

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I am trying to be grateful for having those 4 plus years with her, I really am, but to tell the truth I am just sad.. sad that I can’t fix it, sad that she can’t outgrow it, sad that there is no medication that can manage it.. just sad that soon enough.. she will no longer be part of my day in so SO MANY little ways..

 

 

4 thoughts on “Phone Calls..

  1. Oh bugger. We are having an issue with our dog, which I think probably helps me relate. Animals where just one part is no good. Great skin, hair, teeth, working organs, Vital, alive, vibrant, fucked. Just one area not working out at all. We are not at the end yet, but it is coming, living day to day, on borrowed time. We will lose our beautiful boy as you are losing your gorgeous girl. So perfect except for one little bit that refuses to get with the program. So sad for you. She was gorgeous.

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